The PanArt Secrets Project

I have begun a ongoing project where I am collecting anonymous secrets. I am then turning those secrets into pieces of artwork through mixed media, assemblage, collage and altering found objects. 

I will not be selling any of the intimate secret pieces that I create. Instead, I am working towards a bigger exhibit. I hope that my project will serve as an eye-opener on the importance to be kind to everyone you meet -- you cannot fathom what they are carrying.

If you would like to contribute your secret to my project, please sent e-mail to pantheartist@gmail.com. I will not disclose where the secret came from, and I will leave out any potentially identifying items such as names, etc.

Huge thank you to everyone who has already opened up their soul and shared their secret with me. I truly appreciate each and every one of you.

Add caption

The curves of the sculpture make it a bit hard to photograph and read within the photo. For that reason, I'll include the secret in the caption this time....

"I was regularly molested by my Dad from when I was a baby to the time I moved out, then on occasion until I totally cut him out of my life at 30 years old. He said I was his perfect creation and we would make perfect babies together. I have PTSD and severe dissociation from what he did. I've tried to cut out my insides more than once in an attempt to stop feeling his touch. Every day I beg the universe to finally kill me... but for some reason, I'm still here."

 "The first time he raped me I was 5. I had an out of body experience that day, seeing myself over there from over here. He heinously satisfied himself for the next 3 years. Each time I would go away, mentally. 

As years passed and multiple others had their way, I started having big lapses in memory. I was doing things I don't remember doing and unable to control what was happening.

Today I know what was going on, after years of intense therapy and healing I discovered I have DID - Dissociative Identity Disorder.

I developed 9 altered states ranging from 18 months - 18 years. 3 girls, 6 boys. It enabled me to cope as a little boy and then use as life moved on to deal with the abuse I endured and the damage it has done.

Today, I'm considered high functioning. although the anxiety, panic attacks and manic episodes are a daily battle.

The little ones come out to play now, which is refreshing."